Headlines

Some headlines found in various important US and British news journals concerning the Wine Press:

Parker gives John Grisham's new novel 94 points. Read now-until say, 2012 (at which point it will no longer be relevant). "Gobs of finely formed phrases provide the backbone for this solid effort from Grisham. A romp in the hedonistic garden of delight." On the other hand, Milan Kundera's new book received 67 points. Parker calls it, "too meta for my liking, impossibly complicated, and decidedly not a turn-on."

Wine Spectator magazine chooses Colgate Whitening Toothpaste as Toothpaste of the Year, awarding it 98 points. It had previously made appearances in the Top 100 in 2006 (rated 93 points, #56 of 100) and 2005 (rated 91 points, #72 of 100). Analysts expect Colgate-Palmolive to raise prices by 15% and allocate tubes only to stores willing to carry their less popular toothpaste, Colgate Cavity Protection.

Banana Republic announces a line of 90+ point sweaters to be released this Spring. Fashionably dressed wine critic Stephen Tanzer to consult.

The Steak Eaters Association of America announces that the Rib-Eye is the new highest scoring steak in America and determines that the Filet Mignon has been overrated for much of the last 20 years, pointing to its subtlety and tender chew as faults. Sitting on the panel of judges was the editorial board of Wine Enthusiast Magazine. Some suspect that the Filet Mignon Association of Advocates had been buying off the judges of previous steak tastings by offering free tenderloins to those critics willing to write inflated reviews about the cut.